Love is everywhere - it's you

For the longest time, I had the belief i would simply just know when I had fell in love. Just like the Hollywood movies when the guy has a conversation and one word is said then BOOM, he realizes he's in love and chases after the girl. That's literally what I expected.

The problem I had there was, well the obvious - It's not gonna be exactly like that. But, another thing is, I didn't believe I was capable of being in love. It's not that I thought I was undeserving of love, I just thought I was incapable of it.

There's two reasons for that, one. I didn't exactly love myself that much, and two. I didn't understand what it meant to love someone.

In today's day and age, there is a massive misunderstanding of what love is. The type you see in movies is all powerful, a light bulb switching on in their head and background music as they realize "oh my gosh, I've fallen in love". I'm sure it's the case for some people, keyword, SOME PEOPLE.  Still, unlikely.   Love is entirely misunderstood and misrepresented. 

What is love?

Love is the food in your belly; the air in your lungs; the eyes to see the world around you; the ability to be present and mindful today, and recognize the past and future. Love is everywhere. 

It sounds super, super cheesy and corny and blahblahblah, i KNOW, but it's entirely true. Love is made up of all the tiny things around you. 

The simplest thing in the world is love. You are loved by the universe, if you weren't meant to be here you wouldn't be here. You exist because of love, it's not some super big secret that's being kept away for whatever reason, NO! It's the root of everything! 

Duh, this entire thing lacks literally any type of scientific evidence or logical explanation. But love isn't logical. You can't explain it because it defies explanation, but you know exactly what it is. 

Because love is everywhere, all you have to do is open yourself up to it to love.

It sounds way too easy, I know. But love is so much easier to find than we tend to realize it. You don't need to look that far or hard to encounter love. 

Kindness is love. Empathy is Love. Gratitude is love. All of these are apart of love. They express positivity, high-frequency and high vibrational energy. The higher frequency and vibration of energy, the more positivity and good things you draw to yourself. 

Plus, if i believe otherwise and only see the negative in the world, I will energize negativity and find more reasons to feel bad, i'd just be energizing negativity and finding more reasons to feel bad. Why live life that way if I'm given the option? 

Find something that makes you feel good, great even. Soak it in, and love it. That's literally all it is. The simplicity of feeling good. Love is comforting, love is calm. It's there for you to experience and to give and to receive without any limit to it. 

Love is more and less than what you think it is. Yet, no matter who you are, where you come from, or where you want to go, you are worthy of love. You are deserving of love. 

Love is within and without you. It needs not to be complicated, because when all is said and done.. it's you. You are love, despite everything, it's still be you. 

backrooms movie thoughts

 okay so i watched the backrooms movie DAY OF THE RELASE so on like last friday and i literally loved it SOO MUCH. I went with a friend and my dad and of course my dad fell asleep but me and my friend were super into the whole movie but come to my surprise.. she didn't like it after we watched. I obviously wasn't like "OMG YOU'RE SO WRONG" but i shared my thoughts she shared hers and that was the end of it. I went to tiktok after just to like check what was up and a HANDFUL of people didn't like the movie?!?! HELLOO I THOUGHT IT WAS SO GOOD. Of course, i just went down a rabbit hole and I just wanted to say that, the backrooms movie was so incredibly well written and i loved how the whole movie was almost like a metaphor for self confliction and depersonalization. I think the backrooms represented being mentally stuck in some type of maybe emotional loop (?) Each of the characters were trapped by their own regrets. Also, that whole scene of Mary and Clark at the dining table? It was so captivating, and you can really see how badly Clark is in terms of mental health and how Mary is also clearly doubting herself. I'm pretty sure what most people were expecting was just a person walking around the backrooms into these.. dreamcore levels and a bunch of entities. That's a whole different thing since there are many adaptations of the backrooms but this was one of the ORIGINAL youtube backrooms series. Anyways the movie was great and I WILLL be dropping a google doc full of details and theories on it.. if anyone wanna read.. aha no okay.

OKAY SHORT RANT (i think) dont forget I love you and i'll see ya later !! :D

first day in the life

 hello all !!

first post so excited, what i'll mainly be posting on here is day in the life's, fashion advice, hot takes, rants about my own interests, or just personal diaries at times! I'm soo excited to start fresh and brand new here on vanillabrownsugarswirl (ik cute name right). anywho.. if you want to know more about the person behind this, scroll down to get to know me and my interests !! 

so today i did a whole bunch of stuff surprisingly! it's already technically summer for me since i live in california and i transferred schools way, WAY, too late in the year. . . . not fun but whateves! so i ended up staying home for half of my day and i rewatched a few movies, Napoleon Dynamite for starters. That movie cracks me up everytime i watch! fun fact: i had a crush on napoleon and pedro. . . and honestly to me they still are pretty cute, i dont want to hear ANY arguments against it, thank you! Well after my short movie marathon I ended up getting ready to go get some lunch at a Japanese market, one of the largest in LA i think! I was alsoo happily surprised with a new camera by my dad. Relax, it wasn't just a "just because" present, i'm currently taking a photography class and needed a new camera! Let me just say, it is SO, SO, SOOO much work trying to get angles and lighting right. . . seriously i applaud anyone who's super into photography, so much dedication goes into it! Anyhow, lunch honestly was not that great, sue me. It was 20 bucks for a side of miso soup, a salad, and katsu - don. Worth the price portion wise but I don't think it was for me. . . don't get me wrong i LOVE a good katsu and mis soup but I think the egg on it really threw me off.. but I did get to eat delicious spam musubi so i'm not entirely complaining. Than I went home and took a long, cold shower. I was freezing to death but may i say, it is really relaxing. Might just be because I take boiling hot showers. . . so this was definitely a nice new thing! I'd recommend it actually, especially if you've been sweating a lot throughout the day, it's like a nice cold glass of water in the middle of the night. 

Well. . . that's all i have to say today, surprisingly. Trust, i talk a LOT when i want to. Anywho, I hope you have a beautiful day my loves and I will see you tomorrow, ciao !